"Jump on my dick, and then I'll help you with your quest in The Witcher."

I got a guy with an awesome body to let me go to a rock concert

Didn't let me play The Witcher — took the keyboard and sat on top of it

Picked up a hottie from an unloved job and got sex in gratitude

Hillbilly slut agreed to have sex for only $1

"Want to get laid?" — Lolly Lips is always ready to play in bed

Husband for an hour not only fixed everything, but also checked the housewife's pipes

Finally my girlfriend woke up in a good mood

Honey, I googled how to come from a massage. Why don't we give it a shot?

If you don't want to lick your balls, get your dick right down your throat and don't whine

I thought you were late, but when you saw your tits you didn't want your whores?

I don't have to cook for you, but I do give you on a schedule

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

And if I show you my boobs, will you get off these stupid streams?

What kind of work are you going to do dressed like that? Oh, we're quarantined

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex

Blew the guy's mind on the first day of self-isolation, but at least she sucked

Called an ambulance and had a domestic coronavirus test